Greetings Golfers,

I’m in Orlando for the annual PGA Show. I love seeing everything: clubs, clothes, computer systems, etc. And, I especially love seeing the people of the golf industry.

But, it’s not just a party … we do a lot of purchasing.

So, to get extra sharp at negotiating, I just read “Never Split The Difference” by Chris Voss. Mr. Voss is a former FBI hostage negotiator and has some pretty interesting ideas. He especially emphasizes the power of no. He understands that negotiating is all about trust. All of these tricks to get someone “to yes” … can backfire. It’s easy to get someone to say yes to bland questions such as “Do you like nice weather” … but that’s not really establishing rapport. Both parties need to be able to say no … otherwise the negotiation is not real.

We all have to learn how to say no. Remember that silly Jim Carey movie when he says yes to everything. That’s not freeing yourself up or becoming positive … you’re just eliminating your judgement and being a robot who does anything.

I’ve wrestled with this all of my life. My nature is to be a people pleaser. That’s why I’m in the hospitality business. But, to really please the most people, I have to say no to many individual requests. Our operation can’t do everything. I can’t say yes to everything. People can’t just order things we don’t have on the menu … people can’t buy clubs below cost … people can’t play too early in the morning and get in the way of our grounds crew … people can’t set-up their own league within our leagues … people can’t stay in the pub all night … we can’t host weddings. Obviously, I could go on and on.

Of course people are going to try to get special treatment. I get it. But, it usually comes at the detriment of our service to everyone else. Good for them … bad for most of our customers.

Our goal is to provide a great golf experience. Ironically, saying yes to everyone’s whims would defeat our mission.

That means that I have to say no.

Negotiating is about getting to what is best. The title of Voss’ book says “Never Split The Difference” because the 50/50 compromise usually isn’t what is right – it’s just usually a way out that won’t work or last. Remember the tale about King Solomon offering to cut the baby in half? Same concept. Doing the right thing is not always easy … especially in negotiations. No is necessary to doing the right thing. Too often yes is not a positive … it’s just an easy way out.

Cheers,

Tom Abts
GM/Head PGA Professional
tabts@deerrungolf.com

Deer Run Golf Club
8661 Deer Run Drive
Victoria, MN 55386
(952) 443-2351
www.deerrungolf.com
www.facebook.com/DeerRunGolf
www.twitter.com/DeerRunGolfClub